reading about birthing

just finished my first book about getting the baby out - The Birth Book.

good stuff.

serious business.

it's all pretty exciting and oddly easy to visualize. i definitely feel more confident in the whole deal now that i'm beginning to acquire a bit of knowledge. it's all gonna be smooth sailing. of course, michelle gets wildly seasick, but nothing's perfect.

i do though wish that my parents lived closer to us and could be there for the action, but i'm not the one who moved to vermont, right? jk. jk.


in drinking for three news, i had 4 large beers today in the course of playing 16 holes of golf. why not 18, you ask? how about, why 18? fuck the system. down with the man.

i am a terrible golfer. this may never change.

clearly, if i am to live up to my title, i'll need to drink a lot more.

i'm going to try.

for now, i'm sending a frog and a birth book off to the mother-of-the-chupacabra, and waiting for action in the blood reds of cincinnati.

no one kill anyone here, and that's good. so far, a robbery gone wrong on april 30, a sort of heroic, stop-the-violence type violent shooting on may 8th, and that's it. unless you count the kid who lost at russian roulette, which i don't. so we're just working on some older cases, tracking down crack-whores, waiting on the feds, going to home depot, setting up buy-busts, playing golf.

it's tough being away from michelle, even though cincinnati is far more chill than i expected. i'm super anxious for july to arrive, when i'll be home for good, heading down the final hill towards baby-town. that's gonna feel really good.

of course, weiselberg's wedding in turkey is going to make a fairly nice end of june.

...but without a corkscrew

i'm not drinking at all.

i thought it out. i drink beer and i get fat. i drink red wine and i get stained teeth. i drink rum and i smell like rum. and i'm drunk. i drink white wine and i'm good.

so i bought two bottles at cincinnati's trader joe's.

at home, i realized, no corkscrew.

so no drinky.

went to barnes and noble at newport-on-the-levee in kentucky this evening. bought some birthing books (see blood reds). talked with a nice young lady at the store who has two little ones. she worked book-seller retail until her due date for both. maybe i should have michelle talk to her about stamina and effort.

jk.

jk.

i had a dream last night about the chupacabra being birthed and coming out with preternatural balance and vision and whatever.

i wake up and i remember that she'll just be a blob for four months.

i should be sleeping now, but i guess i should also be learning to function on no sleep at all.

i'm still excited, and i kinda want to fast forward to dad-times, but i guess i can enjoy a trip to turkey to groomsman at the weisel-wedding. michelle has been pretty great about this wedding falling so close to the little monster invasion and being halfway 'round the world. i guess that'll be my chance to really live up to the title of this blog. in two weeks i will drink for three for nine months.

here in the 'nati, i'm not allowed to get drunk because i'm on call 24 hours a day. another few days with no killings and i might get lulled into believing the world is a decent place and i can drink enough for everyone.

then, of course, ring go the bat phone.

charley the chupacabra baba souvlaki cole is gonna be the raddest little girl in my immediate family.

ridiculous.

-dad.